Title: Are You Open-Minded?

Today, I am going to talk to you about how we grow, not physically, but mentally and emotionally.

You need to know and understand this if you want to break free of old patterns, get past insecurities, improve your emotional resiliency, and go after the things you want in your life.

Being open-minded is being open to new ideas and points-of-view.

Point one: It is important to be open-minded about who you are and what your capabilities are.

One: For example, this weekend is Memorial Day weekend. For the first time in a long time, I have three days off in a row. I decided I would use this time to build a retaining wall for a raised corner garden which I had started several years ago. Did you catch that? I said I started it several years ago! Due to injuries and health issues, it fell by the wayside and became overgrown with weeds and grass. 

For our discussion, it is important for you to know that there was a time that I would have never considered doing this project myself! After I divorced and moved into my own home, I struggled to even hang a shelf. I couldn’t get the screws to go all the way into the wall! I felt completely weak and incompetent. A wise woman told me it was ok. I had spent years going to school for my career, not learning how to hang shelves. Now I could shift to a new kind of learning. 

Well, I did learn how to hang a shelf, and I learned how to put together a free standing cabinet with drawers and shelves. I also found a new hobby. I had always been an artist, drawing with charcoal and pastels. But I started learning how to wire-wrap a stone to make a pendant. I was terrible at first. But I kept going and learned more and now I am pretty good at it. My knowledge about the tools and materials has greatly expanded.

Then, I decided I wanted to make something to go along with my jewelry which I was now selling at craft fairs. I thought a simple box which could be a jewelry box would be a cool thing. Soon, I had a table saw and was cutting sides with angles and fitting corners together! I have been making my own wooden boxes for several years now.

This weekend as I finally got back to my retaining wall project, I found I would need to cut a retaining wall brick in half in order to stagger one row of bricks upon the other. I tried to get out of it by asking the building center if they could cut a brick for me. That was a no go. But I am much more confident now. I went to the saw department and found the old guy employee I had seen around there before. I asked him all of my questions and came home with my first circular saw, a masonry saw blade and some goggles for eye protection. Instead of being afraid like I would have been in the past, I am looking forward to using my new circular saw! So I have grown from a person who didn’t see herself as capable of using power tools to one who gets excited to buy and use a new saw!

Point Two: Being open-minded underlies the belief that you can learn. Thinking you are born with certain abilities and if you don’t have them, you never will is just not true! But you do have to get past your own ego.

Example Two: You need to be able to make mistakes and keep going and doing while making more mistakes until you understand a process and gain skills. When I make a new style of pendant, I make the first one for myself. It will have all of the mistakes. I figure that the third one of that type that I make will be good enough to sell to a potential customer. This idea also goes along with how you feel about something you are doing. I used to be terribly shy and self-conscious. But over the years of going to school and being a counselor, I now can run groups and speak in front of others. I can put myself out there and do this podcast! I may make mistakes such as stumble over a word or forget something I wanted to say, but I will still make a podcast episode. I have gained the confidence to record myself speaking (I still don’t like the sound of my own voice.) and offer it to others to hear even if there are little mistakes.

Point Three: Being open-minded means you see the value in hearing and understanding different points of view. You know that you might learn something and that is a good thing. It may or may not change your beliefs.

Example three: Politics is a subject which always brings out the worst in people, usually showing them to be wholly on one side or the other. Taking sides and arguing a point to win rather than to understand is the name of the game. It drives me crazy because people are unable to have well-rounded discussions. But I once witnessed someone do the complete opposite of all of that. I knew his political beliefs when he struck up a conversation with a man who had the complete opposite beliefs. Maybe it was because the other man was more elderly. My friend began asking him questions in a non-threatening manner full of interest and wanting to hear how the man’s views had developed. The conversation went on for some time and the other man never knew that my friend’s views were different from his. My friend didn’t fake agreement or squash his own views, because the whole time was more about exploring how the other man came to have the beliefs he had. It turned out to be quite educational and refreshing.

So being open-minded is a key to learning and growth. It can get you past your doubts and insecurities and open you up to things you never thought to even consider.

Over the next week, see if you can open up to something you would normally dismiss. If you notice yourself thinking, saying or doing the same as you always do, stop a moment to see if there are any variables you haven’t noticed or considered. Especially if you have become stuck in ways which hold you back or keep you feeling insecure, allow yourself to try something new, even if you aren’t too good at it.

Until next time, you can check out my website at www.ldonreed.com

If you are on Facebook, my page is ldonreed and if you are on IG, you can find me at ldonreedtherapist, all one word. Also, if you are enjoying it, subscribe to this podcast and let others know about it too!